pet sounds.

a story about my family history with cats.

one morning, when i was in 5th grade, my friends and i were out on the playground waiting for the bell to ring so we could go inside and start our school day. tucked away in some bushes we found two small kittens all alone. one of them ran away when we came near. but the smaller one allowed us to pick him up. it was love at first sight. my teacher let me keep him in a box next to my desk all morning. since my mom was also a teacher at my school, she received news that i had found a new friend and was intent on keeping him. somehow, we managed to convince my dad to give it a try. since the kitty was bright orange, we named him pun'kin. our first real dekoster family pet. well, pun'kin, having been raised in the wilds of the ada christian school parking lot, wasn't an easy kitten to train. in fact, he was downright awful. he was constantly trying to escape outside. (i remember using american cheese slices to lure him out of hiding under the deck on numerous occasions.) and he appeared to have no intentions of using a litter box whatsoever. i don't remember exactly how long we kept him, but eventually, my parents were forced to take him to the proverbial "farm with lots of space for him to run and play." and we were devastated.

after some time had gone by, my sisters and i decided to have a go begging my parents to try another kitty. this one would be from a pet store and so hopefully would not cause as much trouble. we convinced them using a skit (we we were prone to do) involving some kind of song and dance routine with words we wrote ourselves about how much we would love and care for this new addition to our family. somehow, again, they were convinced. at the pet store the next day, we picked out a small calico kitten. and, quite unoriginally, named him cali. he was great. good personality. used his litter box like a champ. everything you could ask for. now, considering how difficult he was to convince in the first place, you can imagine our surprise when, a few months later, my DAD informed us all that he was afraid cali was getting lonely and thought he might appreciate a companion. revealing himself as the great softy we all knew he was, my dad drove us to the pet store to get ANOTHER kitty. the store actually had one left from the same litter that cali came from. so we took him home and named him snickers. we had no idea then that this would turn out to be one of the worst mistakes we would ever make.

cats are very territorial. and cali had grown quite accustomed to his new habitat. he wasn't keen on sharing it with anyone else, especially his bratty younger brother. man, these cats would FIGHT! i mean we'd be sitting at the dinner table and they'd be tearing up the family room downstairs screetching and hissing to the point that we became fearful for not only their lives, but ours as well. the pet store owner assured us that this would stop, and sure enough, they eventually came to respect each other. when cali and snickers stopped fighting, we assumed this meant that had become friends. but it would probably be more accurate to say that they had become "partners in crime."

before i continue this story let me just say that cali and snickers were extremely well-behaved for our family. they never bit or scratched at us. they were very mello... when no one else was around...

the first "incident" happened at a gathering my parents had every year around christmastime. little joshie kuipers had been playing innocently in the basement when suddenly he came bounding up the stairs, extremely upset. apparently, he had approached cali to pet him and instead of a warm welcome, received a rather vicious bite on the arm. his parents, being some of our oldest family friends, were extremely understanding, but, from that time on, we tried our best to keep the cats away from strange children they did not know.

i say children because, for some reason, these cats only had a problem with young people. they respected their elders, but kids gave them the creeps. and so whenever children were around they would become very agitated. it sometimes looked as though they were formulating a plan to rid the world of these disgusting short-limbed creatures.

the second incident also occurred in the basement. our cousin paige was in town from california and was downstairs playing "house" with my two younger sisters. she remembers kneeling down to feed the cats a bowl of fake plastic peas. they weren't interested. instead, they began to follow her. after a few moments, she became concerned and asked my sister if the cats normally stalked people in this manner. no sooner had the words left her lips than cali and snickers put their plan into action. they lunged at her. cali on one leg, snickers on the other. holding on to her calves with their claws they scratched and bit her poor little legs 'til they were a bloody mess. i'm not sure how my sister managed to get them off her. but as soon as she did, my mom had no choice but to throw them in the car and drive straight to the animal hospital to have them put to sleep. my last memory of cali and snickers was their innocent little faces meowing at me from inside the van while my mom drove them away.

innocent. ha. they literally ATTACKED my cousin. at the time, though, i'm sure i felt she must have had it coming. who wants to eat fake plastic peas?

my family stayed away from cats for a long time after that. until they got a message on their machine one day from an elderly couple down the street asking if we would take their cat for them because they were going to a nursing home. how do you say no to that. this cat was quite old herself and lasted a few years before she passed away. now they have a black furry cat named neo and she's perfectly lovely. meaning, she has yet to inflict serious bodily harm upon any member of my extended family.